Several years ago, together with my friend Susan Shapiro, we started looking for answers to the questions: What makes us motivated?; How do we find the resources to continue our spiritual journeys?. In a fluid society, where everything moves very quickly, as if time has compressed, it is important to turn our attention to ourselves and those around us. All these answers and concepts form the basis of The Teacher Within project, today the foundation of a national training program for teachers.

We, by our social nature, develop and evolve in groups and communities: from family and friend groups, on a personal level, to educational institutions and workplaces, on a professional level. The sense of belonging guides us in developing healthy and harmonious relationships directly with those around us and directly with ourselves.

Furthermore, in partnership with Tapestry Intergenerational Education Foundation and Stanford University, Transylvania College Foundation started developing the eight blocks of belonging to be implemented in schools and professional environments, with the purpose of creating a culture of belonging.

What is Belonging?

We, by our social nature, develop and evolve in groups and communities: from family and friend groups, on a personal level, to educational institutions and workplaces, on a professional level. The sense of belonging guides us in developing healthy and harmonious relationships directly with those around us and directly with ourselves.

A sense of belonging forms when gaining attention, understanding, acceptance, respect and support from group members, as well as by giving the same level of involvement as received. The need to belong to a group can also lead to changes in behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes as people conform to group norms and expectations.

The positive effects of having a sense of belonging, justify people’s need to join different groups and communities. Some of them are: stimulation of one’s own motivation, appearance of enthusiasm and joy, increase in confidence and self-esteem, etc. All these, together, ensure the state of long-term socio-emotional and mental well-being of each individual in the group.

The Eight Building Blocks of Belonging

Having a sense of belonging to a group or community emerges over time, gradually, based on eight building blocks: safety, empathy, sympathy, compassion, mutualism, respect, shared values ​​and validation. Surely all these terms are well known, but this time, put in a context, in one place, they come to form a whole: belonging.

Safety

A sense of belonging is born in environments that give us security, where we develop confidence and where we feel joy. When we live safely, we feel peace of mind and soul and we can anchor ourselves in the present moment.

But how can we create a place where we feel safe? First, by surrounding ourselves with people who offer us empathy, sympathy, compassion. We, in turn, to strengthen this environment, offer reciprocity. The conclusion we reach through these actions, which we undertake voluntarily, is that healthy relationships matter.

Empathy, Sympathy, Compassion

When we understand that our perception is not the only one, we also manage to see the situation of the other, from the perspective that the interlocutor presents. By empathy we mean that our perception is not alone. When we are in sympathy, we recognize the difficult situation another person is going through, at which point we translate into the story being transmitted. Once we understand what the other person is going through, mentally, emotionally or physically, through compassion, we offer help and support.

The first four building blocks strengthen good relationships in families, marriages, groups of friends, and colleagues. Love, too. The four building blocks teach us to be flexible, to accept that we are different and to do things for others that bring joy and appreciation.

Mutualism

Mutualism, this social convention and indispensable part included in the first models of communication, found in the form of “feedback”, permanently indicates the degree of involvement of each individual that forms the group or community of which we are a part.

Respect

The sixth building block, respect, is also valuable. When we are safe, we respect ourselves and those around us by doing acts of kindness and love.

Respect is one of the most important moral values ​​of the human being and grounds harmonious social interactions. One of the most important premises regarding respect starts from the fact that, in order to be respected, it is necessary to know or learn to respect, to understand the other, to appreciate his needs, interests and values.

Common Values

What is the most important value for us? When we find our purpose or path in life, we are actually supported at all times by our values. In this context, the feeling of belonging arises once we share common values. We feel that we resonate with those around us and identify ourselves in the characteristics, plans, thoughts of those who form the group.

Validation

The last, but not the last, validation is what connects them all: from having a safe environment, to showing our empathy, compassion, solidarity, etc. When you are validated, you receive a sign of recognition and acceptance from the other person, who understands your thoughts, feelings, behaviors. In fact, it shows you empathy, sympathy, compassion, mutualism and respect.

Invitation to reflection

1. We invite you to reflect and identify which of the eight blocks of belonging you have identified as mostly needed in a difficult situation for you.
2. What values ​​do you have in common with members of the most important group you belong to? What is different?
3. What would you like to see strengthened or changed in your groups/communities (family, school, church) so that you feel a stronger sense of belonging? Why?

Our guest for the sixth episode of the podcast “Conversations with Charm” was Oana Moşoiu, university lecturer, coordinator and trainer, creator of continuous training programs for teachers, mother, and friend, with whom we’ve had a pleasant and inspirational discussion, full of innovative ideas, both professionally and personally.

At the beginning of our conversation, you will discover Oana’s story, which begins with the role of “learner”, as it has been shaped since she was little. Even though she initially wanted to study psychology, during her school years, her desire took on another form – pedagogy.  Her desire to pursue this vocation was influenced by her family and by the people she was surrounded by at the time, and she followed it with an “open heart”. Studying more and more pedagogy, she has grown a lot into it and the passion to offer educational experiences not only to students but also to teachers.

Oana’s journey in the process of finding her calling as a teacher was sprinkled with a few obstacles and difficulties until she reached success and she believed that, for her, this vocation is more of a hobby, not just a job.

As a teacher, her love for the students has motivated her to continue within this vocation and her faith in God offered her faith in people, having the conviction that “she was left with a mission”, the response to this self-interrogation was felt by her as a positive one.  Oana is convinced that her role is to be a teacher.

During our discussion, Oana stated that it is necessary for the teacher to have a certain clarity in choosing this vocation, for it to be a conscious choice for her/him, in order to be able to perform it with more joy. The system of relief and charging with energy must be ,,very well set up” because the teaching career is a very energy-consuming one. 

At 11:28, Oana talks about the ways in which the teachers can highlight their strengths, anchor themselves in the present moment, as well as value the children’s talents. All these being legitimate aspects of the teacher’s vocation.

At minute 19:25, Oana responds affirmatively to an imagination exercise that is based on the film she sees in education for 2025, offering a colorful and lively vision of the teacher-student relationship in the future. And, at minute 24:32, she describes the vision she has, as a mother, for her students and children for 2025. As a message for this context, Oana tells the students, among other things, that “I am here and I support you!”.

During the conversation, we also discussed about long-term regenerative education. The main aspects that Oana highlighted as regenerative effects in the educational process were:

• Correctness
• Cultivating feelings
• Cultivating values
• Student support in learning
• Focusing on the applicability of the information taught
• Focusing on the teacher
• Accepting mistakes

In the last part of the podcast, Oana did a final imagination exercise in which she sends a message to the teacher who had and still has a significant impact in her life. This is a message that validates and values the character of the teacher and their work. You will can discover the message at minute 46:33.

We invite you to watch or listen to this episode on our Youtube channel or audio streaming platforms and leave us your feedback.

Follow us on the Happy Teachers for Romania Facebook page to find out who will be the next guest and to participate in the giveaways we organize together with our partner, Farmec.

The guest of the fifth episode of the podcast “Conversations with Charm” was Amalia Sterescu, a very dear friend, Eduprenor, Leadership Facilitator, Personal Brand Strategist, Public Speaking Coach, and Author. Amalia’s experience, especially in coaching and education makes her a specialist adept at reinventing and transforming her career. The fact that she did not follow a classical educational structure, having her own form of learning and rediscovery, has become the main form by which she continuously improves her knowledge and skills.

Throughout her career, Amalia has encountered many difficulties, voices of people trying to stop her from pursuing the career that she felt was the right fit. This is how she discover entrepreneurship and now calles herself ”the sum of paradoxes”.

During this conversation, we debated the myth that “what you study in college is going to become your profession and you will retire doing the same job”. Of course, statistically, says Amalia, the percentage is extremely small.  In her 16 years of entrepreneurship, she has worked with many young people who have come to discover themselves and what they want to do only after completing their studies. The failure of young people in choosing careers is due to “the lack of career counseling and mentoring in schools”, as well as the importance of the people around us, the role models we choose in life, the entourage, the pressure of society and their influence in the decisions we make in the career we want to pursue and what is the moment when we need to change careers. 

Of course, these decisions are also made according to some signals. At 7:40 am Amalia describes a series of signals for a career change, these signals being fueled by the frustrations gathered over time, financial situations, or various constraints that make that person unable to make the right decision in the process of changing their career. Symptoms of these signals, over time, manifest certain repercussions: diseases, dissatisfaction, becoming toxic to those around them. 

At 15:59, Amalia talks about the fact that we are not educated to manage failure, describing it as flexibility, adaptability, “a gift from which you learn to become better”. Failure is stigmatized in the Romanian educational system by both the system and the parents. 

At 33:05, Amalia describes the failure as “when you made a change and you didn’t learn, you didn’t evolve, and you didn’t bring value to those around you.” For Amalia, failure is judged by “The value you bring to the lives of others.”

At 21:15, Amalia describes the work she does with her clients and how she helps them find their career path, as well as the importance of people’s interaction with the external environment of the workplace. She is firm in listening to intuition, saying that it is very important to listen to this voice, especially when it comes to career and,  ”for every problem there is a solution”. Amalia also talks about the importance of breaks and the period of reinvention between jobs and between changes in our professional lives in order to work “differently”. 

From Amalia’s point of view, the vocational change is extremely difficult in Romania and the fact that the Romanian society does not look at the potential of man, but at his professional path, judging in templates, and by doing this losing many professionals who can bring extraordinary value to organizations.

Amalia Sterescu’s advice is to continuously learn because otherwise, we risk becoming mediocre. The brain must be provoked and, as a true professional, continuous learning is mandatory.

In the last part of the podcast, Amalia did a time-travelling exercise and told about Amalia the student, what she was like and what dreams she had at the time. You will find the answer at minute 33:45. The message is very meaningful and validates the work of all teachers. 

We invite you to watch or listen to this episode on our Youtube channel or audio streaming platforms and leave us your feedback.

Follow us on the Happy Teachers for Romania Facebook page to find out who will be the next guest and to participate in the giveaway we organize together with our partner, Farmec.

Our guest for the fourth episode of the “Conversations with Farmec”  podcast was Lilia Dicu, a dear friend, Master Certified Coach, and founder of Daring Executive Coach. With extensive knowledge and skills in training, consulting, and mentoring, Lilia is an international coach and works mainly with multinational companies, both for the objectives of the organizations and for the personal goals of the Executives. Her experience in People Management in the corporate sector contributes to her training, consulting, and mentoring skills, being tested by demonstrated practice.

Passionate about knowledge, Lilia is constantly improving her coaching skills, both with avant-garde tools in the field as well as with tools from emerging disciplines. Lilia trained with Alain Cardon in Systemic Coaching, with the Newfield Network in Ontological Coaching, with Alan Seale in Transformational Leadership, with Gita Belin in the “Evolution of Consciousness” method, and with Peter Hawkins in Systemic Organizational Coaching. Also, Lilia holds the title of Master NLP, using the GESTALT Systemic Constellations of Family, ESPERE method. Lilia has studied with world-class specialists in instruments which are often valued as “going ahead of what that world is prepared for”  with world-class specialists in instruments who are often viewd as “going ahead of what that world is prepared for”.

Lilia’s coaching method focuses on supporting people to find the best solutions for themselves, taking into account the environment, experience, and resources they have at their disposal. She guides them to devise clear implementation plans so that those trained feel motivated and capable to achieve their goals. 

During our discussion, Lilia debunked the most common coaching myths and revealed to us what are the steps to follow in the journey to become better, both on a personal level as well as professionally. Our conversation began with a few revelations about our guest, with less known things about her, through which we came to know her as a professional, as a person, a mother, and a woman.

Lilia strongly believes that every person has something special, something unique, something beautiful and these qualities sometimes surface due to certain happenings or circumstances and, other times, they never reveal themselves. And this is where her role comes in, to discover and reveal the potential of every person she works with. “What I am and what I work with others I am first and foremost with my family,” says Lilia.

Because her work is also related to education, at 4:50 in the recording, Lilia talked about competitiveness, at school and in the family, about the rules created by parents in children’s education. “Just as the sun shines and sheds light on the stones, the flowers, so must we pour out humanity on people and especially on the children in our lives.” Then we learned about her career path, how she discovered coaching, and what it means to be a coach.

Minute 11:50: “I have studied a lot and I like to learn. For me, learning has always been a pleasure.”

At 14:10, we began discussing and debunking the most common coaching myths, such as:

• Successful people do not need coaching.
• You have to choose between your personal and professional life, they can’t both be prosperous.
• Personal development involves the continuous desire for change, so it leaves no room to be satisfied with oneself.

Starting at 27:25, we discuss the teaching profession, how Lilia would change education if she had a magic wand, and what would be the role of a coach for teachers.

At minute 42:32, we learn from Lilia three “tips and tricks” from coaching, which a teacher can use with his students in class:

• To use their full presence
• The importance of positive language
• To give students the freedom and responsibility to communicate and do what they want

And the last challenge is an exercise in imagination: what message would Lilia send to the teacher who influenced her life at some point? You can find out the answer at 53:00 and it is a very touching message that is addressed to all teachers.

We invite you to watch or listen to this episode on our youtube channel or  audio streaming platforms and leave us your feedback.

Follow us on the Happy Teachers for Romania Facebook page to find out who will be the next guest and to participate in the giveaway we organize together with our partner, Farmec.